For the right combination of comfort and character, we choose two American motorcycles, perfectly suited to the long, sweeping bends that Germany has to offer. Unfortunately, the first three hours on the motorway towards Bad Ems, the closest of our spa destinations, are less inspiring. There are kilometres to cover, and little else to enjoy. But that is part of the deal. We arrive late in Bad Ems, decide to leave the town for another day and settle into a Greek restaurant instead. We will explore Bad Ems properly at the end of the trip, when our route brings us back here.

Along the Lahn

Bad Ems lies on the banks of the River Lahn, which provides a natural guide as we leave the town behind. Unlike some major rivers, whose banks are lined with industrial estates, this one is flanked by charming villages and delightful stretches of asphalt that follow its winding course. We ride at an easy pace towards Giessen, although we eventually turn south before getting that far, passing through quiet forests and emerging just north of Wiesbaden, where we join the motorway.

I normally avoid motorways whenever possible, but exploring the densely populated outskirts of Frankfurt on two bulky American motorcycles, with their endless traffic lights and urban congestion, doesn't strike me as a particularly appealing alternative. Needs must, so we take a wide detour around Europe's financial heart. The motorway offers one unexpected spectacle: planes taking off and landing around Frankfurt Airport, Lufthansa's main hub, creating a fascinating backdrop to an otherwise monotonous stretch of road.

Once we leave the motorway, it is time for lunch. Feeling completely relaxed, we roll into a village in search of something to eat. My inner peace doesn't last long. A German driver behind me erupts in anger because I have moved to the front of the queue at a red light. Right, I am in Germany after all. Tolerance for anyone who dares to bend the rules of the road seems rather limited here. It is a stereotype that, as we will discover, keeps resurfacing throughout the trip.

Healing waters

After a restorative lunch, we head back into the forests and continue towards Bad Kissingen. Along the way, we repeatedly encounter warning signs reading Strassenschäden, meaning road damage. I find myself wondering what damage they are referring to. The roads are in excellent condition. Germany is often portrayed in the media as Europe's ailing economic powerhouse, plagued by crumbling infrastructure and bridges on the verge of collapse, but that certainly doesn't match what we experience today. The asphalt is smooth and the routes are beautifully maintained.

We enter Bad Kissingen via the Ludwigsbrücke and stop outside the Kaiserhof Victoria, a hotel whose grand name is matched by its imposing appearance. By now, we are chilled to the bone, so we head straight for the hotel spa. The sauna works wonders, allowing the tension to drain from our muscles, while a separate room filled with misted salt air provides another opportunity to relax.

Opposite the hotel stands another impressive building, the Trinkhalle. The name is quite literal. Here, visitors can sample different types of mineral water, known locally as Heilwasser, pumped directly from deep underground. A network of copper pipes, an artwork in its own right that looks as though it belongs in a Harry Potter film, carries the water to a counter where a friendly woman serves me a particular variety. Another pipe fills a cup for Bob.

My water tastes like a metal tube, while Bob's has a distinctly earthy flavour. Delicious would not be the word I would choose, but the placebo effect is powerful. I already feel reborn after our long but beautiful day on the road. As for the long term health benefits, I will have to reserve judgement.

Germany has followed a relatively multicultural course under Angela Merkel, and we notice the results when we head out for dinner. Despite the town's traditional German grandeur, Google Maps reveals a colourful selection of international restaurants, from Greek and Italian to Turkish, Thai and Chinese. Traditional German eateries are surprisingly hard to find. Eventually, we settle on a restaurant serving Ukrainian cuisine. It is an unexpected discovery, but certainly a tasty one.